Is this glass half empty, or half full?
If you had a heart attack last July and had a stent put in an artery, and then had another stent put in the same artery 3 weeks ago along with an angioplasty procedure, should I be glad or sad?
Don’t get me wrong, I am very thankful to still be alive, but at what price is this? I now live in fear. Tremendous fear that something else will go wrong. In all actuality, this might have been a second, a third chance for me. But this fear, is it worth it? Obviously you say it is. Didn’t someone once say a coward dies a thousand deaths? I think I understand that now.
I hate always thinking about my health now. I hate the change in my life this has caused me. I hate how I think now, being consumed by this ailment. I hate the fear of the chance of more pain. I hate the fear of dying.
Should I love the fact that I am indeed still alive and on the mend? Many people have had angioplasty surgery and live normal lives. Won’t I one day be in that catagory? Why the worry? Why so serious????
Half full or half empty?
I thought a new feature on my blog would be a good idea. It’s a little slow in the sports season right now, so I thought a new section called “My Daily Update” would give me a chance to post something for the blog on a regular basis.
Everyone pretty much has a blog now days. I sometimes see something during any random day and I wish I could post to my blog right then. So the idea occurred to me to keep note of things and try to post it daily here.
I just spoke to my 1st cousin Patsy, who lives in Dallas. She is about 60 years old now and she and I have seen pretty much everything in our lives together.
I just got off the phone with her, and I made the comment that I didn’t think we would end up like this. She with a broken shoulder and me with my heart issues. She and I are both down somewhat, and a little depressed due to our situation. We still managed a laugh or two during our conversation.
No one said life would last forever. I just didn’t know it was going to stare back at me so vividly when it got to this point in life. I hate that she is in so much pain. Hell, I hate I have to live with the fear that I do with my heart issues. Sometimes I wonder about it all. If this is what I’m looking at for the rest of my life, that’s pretty spooky.
Oh well, I need another glass of wine to handle this. I’ll blog again tomorrow. I love you Patsy.
I found a video I took yesterday which hasn’t been posted yet. This could have been the best moment of the parade.
I’m so glad I decided to go. It was a blast, especially for an old Irishman like myself.